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07/03/06 15:40:05 - Trouble

Aren had a great time during our little trip. He got to meet Spider-Man, Cyclops, Wolverine, Storm and Rogue. He got to go on tons of great rides and hang out with a Super Bowl MVP. He even got to eat ice cream whenever he wanted (almost) and play his newfound favorite sport – miniature golf – every day. Aren also got to hug some of the great characters at the park, including Mickey Minnie, Donald Duck, Goofy and Pluto. But there was one major problem.


Remember that this is a kid who habitually covers his ears and buries his face in the couch whenever a Barbie commercial comes on the TV (if he can’t find the remote first). The presence of anyone who can be described as a princess constitutes a nearly unbearable trial.

Cinderella and *Other* kidsCinderella and *Other* kids - 2
This being Disney World, they were everywhere. Every parade we saw had several of them – Snow White, Ariel and Sleeping Beauty, for starters. Whenever one came into his line of sight, he promptly shoved his hands deep into his pockets and looked angrily at the ground. One morning Cinderella came to the Give Kids the World Village. Knowing Aren, had the actress come as herself – a much prettier-than-average girl – Aren would have been happy to chat with her. Since she was a Princess, however, not only did he refuse to make eye contact, he wouldn’t get within ten feet of her.

"Aren, do you like Cinderella?"
He actually did pretty well in his biggest test, though. One of the items on our agenda was a Beauty and the Beast stage production. Fortunately for Aren, he was sitting next to a wonderful volunteer from American Airlines, Miss Brenda. Miss Brenda kept Aren entertained while we were waiting for the show to start, mostly by singing songs like “Itsy Bitsy Spider” with him. Once the curtain came up, however, we lost the ability to keep him happy that way. From the moment Belle appeared, Aren’s little features hardened into a permanent glare directed at the stage.

The show itself was okay, I guess, but I think I sympathized a bit more with Aren in this case. It included lots of dancing and lip syncing, though Belle, Gaston and the Beast seemed to be actually singing. Most importantly, major production numbers (like “Be Our Guest”) were performed in all their glory, complete with a rockette-style kick line made up entirely of table settings and feather dusters.

(I think there were some lip-syncing pork chops in there, too, but as big a fan as I am of having pork products serenade me, I must say that the highlight of the show for me was discovering that one of the ushers at the front of the amphitheater was really into the show. She knew the entire script by heart and recited – no, acted – every line, complete with tears springing to her eyes when Beast was nearly killed at the end of the show. I wouldn’t say I was laughing at her… just in her direction.)

At the end of the show, Aren was visibly relieved. When Miss Brenda asked him how he liked it, he let out a long, exasperated, Napoleon Dynamite-esque sigh.

“Miss Brenda, that was the most BORING thing I’ve ever seen!!!” Maybe if he saw a different kind of princess – say, one wearing Danishes on her head and a light saber at her hip? I’ll get with the folks at Disney and see what we can do…

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Velda wrote:
Hehehe, poor guy. You gave me a dilbert head for Christmas once, and if I threw it and caught it, it'd say something like, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" or "I'm surrounded by Idiots!" While they're bringing Leia to Disney, do you suppose they could make an Aren doll while they're at it? (Just make sure they don't call it a doll.. action figure!)
03/07 17:04:13

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