07/24/05 10:29:00 - Memories

When you lose someone, you never really know when something will set off memories, and which ones will make you miss them the most. For me, it was taking my dog for a walk after a rain. It was probably the smell that made me think about the last time I went for a walk right after a storm.
I realized that it was probably about nine months ago when I stayed home from church with Lily because she had been sick. The whole afternoon she kept pestering me to go for a walk. Since we moved to Arizona, she loved walks. We would set out on them and she would want to go forever. She’d actually get really upset, throw fits, even, when she realized that we were headed back towards our house. It was almost as if she knew that her time was short and she wanted to see as much as she could while she was here.

That particular Sunday, MaryBeth and Aren had gone to church. I figured I’d just walk out until we saw them and then come home. It had been raining most of the late October or early November day, and we had recently moved into a new apartment. I bundled her up in a sweater (it wasn’t raining much anymore) and we walked. And walked. And walked. I kept expecting to see MaryBeth drive up, not realizing that she’d decided to take another way home. When we got home, MaryBeth was quite angry at me, since I had left without the cell phone and hadn’t left a note. She, of course, feared the worst, and I got the brunt of it.

That was the last time I took my baby girl for a walk. The memory had disappeared for a while. And what brought it to my mind was when I took the dog (that she never met) out after a rainstorm.

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