03/20/02 14:09:00 - Lily's Birth

An essay written the day after Lily was born
What an incredible day. I say “incredible”, but it is a word that completely falls short. “Glorious”, perhaps, or even “perfect” would work better in many respects. As the first day of spring, I don’t think it could have been much better. There was not a cloud to be seen in the sky, and the air was warm and fresh. It carried the vibrant smell of grasses, flowers and trees coming back to life after the winter. The sun shone bring in the sky, and as I drove, it was impossible to resist the urge to roll the window down and turn the music up. Glorious, could, in fact, describe it well.

Glorious. As I listened to the radio, bobbing my head to the music, I remembered that the meteorologist had mentioned the fact that the Vernal Equinox would occur just a few minutes after noon. Today, just after high noon, day and night would be perfectly balanced. The essential eternal opposites, yin and yang, male and female would be perfectly in balance. Later that night, as I stared up at the shimmering constellations of the not-quite-suburban skies of northern Utah County the realization seemed to sink deep into me. Harmony. Stability. Perfection.

I continued to gaze up at the beauty of this perfect balance and was awestruck. My thoughts returned to my daughter, Lily Katherine, who was still less than twenty-four hours old. I marveled at the way the combination of my wife and me could result in such a perfect little being. As she joined her 2-year old brother Aren, she could, in fact, be seen as the completion of yet another pair making up my little family.

I stood, overwhelmed by the simplicity and mystery of life, this perfect balance on this perfect day. I pondered the innocent beauty of that precious little life that joined us here, on this glorious day.

Mostly, though, I stood in awe of the cosmic force that began the stirrings of life in the fields and forests, the one that brings balance to darkness and light. I felt that I could almost see all of creation, and was humbled by the fact that in reality, I matter very little to this world. It went on before I was born, and will continue after I die. At the same time, however, I felt that the Almighty had given me a special charge – I would be everything to this tiny little girl. I would matter more than kings and presidents, law-makers and economists, and even (for a time) athletes and rock stars. I would be her father. What an incredible day.


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